I have nothing but absolute RESPECT for those brave brave souls that work in the food service industry.  It is a brutal and unforgiving landscape akin to the fiercest forest or driest desert.  If food service waiters and waitresses are the soldiers of this war then their captains would be the men and woman stationed at Burger King.

They are so good at what they do that there must be some kind of convention or meeting of the minds that levels this great fountain of food-kowledge throughout the realm of tears.  I imagine this in the form of an NPR talk show dedicated to those skills that normal men dare not invoke for the great power found in them could be used to destroy.